Sometimes a shift occurs in the consultation room when a couple moves from couples counselling to separation counselling. Brian Appleby writes that ‘separation counselling takes place when one person, or both, recognises, albeit in many circumstances reluctantly and sadly, that reconciliation is no longer viable’. I find that this movement often surfaces as an ebbing realisation, rather than a pre-meditated idea. A psychotherapist’s work is to notice this movement, allowing it to rise, holding the tension and presenting the couple with choice. Moving forward a separating couple’s task at hand, often facilitated by their counsellor, will be to plan an exit roadmap. These conversations create significant signposts for a harmonious…